Staying away from home is probably the toughest punishment for me and the irony is, I have been away from home from the past 6 years. 6 years!!! I remember the first time I was going out of home to a hostel in Bhubaneswar for some end-moments preparations, my Father was so damn upset! He's emotional but for the first time I saw him crying! Trust me, it's actually heart-shattering to see someone so near to your heart, crying. His heart knew then that now I am out... I will be out of home :( My Mother is a bit stronger as compared to my Father. She would not let her grief come to her face and expressions. My little Sister is more inclined to Papa when emotions are considered. Her red-moist eyes and shaking lips would say everything. But somewhere deep inside, I was wondering that they would soon be used to this. Life would go on. I was also expecting that they won't be sad again when I would be away somewhere pursuing my academic degrees. Time came and I joined my college. Four long years in hostel!! Again, my family came to leave me at my hostel. There I realized, nothing had changed. They were still the same. I still remember that day, I kept all my belongings in my room (which was my home for the next 4 years), met a few friends and then bent down to touch Papa's feet. The moment I stood up... there he was in tears! That was probably the first time I cried that badly. The world around me literally stopped. It was almost a depressing state for me. They all left with heavy hearts but I was left behind with a heavier heart! Time went on... made friends... met people... life was good, but somewhere it was empty. That emptiness would have been filled only if I would have been at home,with my dear ones... people who are mine... people who are always on my side, when the whole world stands on the opposite side! In college, I would always be waiting for the sessions to be over so that I can go home. That had a charm of its own! Again, the same old story would occur... would have fun there n again everyone would be sad when I would leave. But I would still say, things were much better.. since we were just a full-night-distance away.
After college, life became serious. I had to move to Bangalore to make one more move in my career. Leaving home then was different. My whole world was there and I was all alone. My heart still aches when I remember that moment. Papa was coming with me. Ma and Chinki were silent. No one was saying anything. Everyone lost in their own silence, own emotions.. trying not to show others. I could not meet my eyes with Chinki fearing that if I do so, she would break the boundary and would cry. Although I could already sense her teary-moist eyes, I dared not to see her. I just gave her a small-warm hug. While in auto-rickshaw, all I could see was Ma :( I knew, life would be tough without her being around. It was such a moment in my life, I would not like to face that ever again. My heart was crying out loudly but I was silent. I had to be silent for Papa was around.
I reached Bangalore, had the interviews and was done with the joining formalities and all. The next shattering moment was yet to be witnessed. Papa would be leaving. Those moments are still afresh in my mind when Papa was leaving me at Ness with Mitu Apa. He was crying so badly. I would have been lost if Lala Bhai and Bapi Bhai won't have been there. Papa called me when he was leaving for Odisha the next day, I could not talk to him only!
As always, life goes on! All good and bad that happens are a part of life. Now, reaching home is like a dream sometimes considering the work, career and everything but virtually, it's just a call away. I talk to all my family members almost everyday and with each passing day, the urge of going home increases! Even now also, when I go home, life seems all good... there's fun in everything and happiness everywhere. While coming back, it feels as if, something is left behind... it's not the complete-Me that comes back! Here in Bangalore, cousins are there... many friends too... we meet time-to-time... have fun... cherish old days... have taken a house... stay on my own... but still homeless! Truly said, home is house where each wall and corner knows you, where you live with your loved ones! I surely have a house here but my home is far far away where my loved ones are!
A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams!!
After college, life became serious. I had to move to Bangalore to make one more move in my career. Leaving home then was different. My whole world was there and I was all alone. My heart still aches when I remember that moment. Papa was coming with me. Ma and Chinki were silent. No one was saying anything. Everyone lost in their own silence, own emotions.. trying not to show others. I could not meet my eyes with Chinki fearing that if I do so, she would break the boundary and would cry. Although I could already sense her teary-moist eyes, I dared not to see her. I just gave her a small-warm hug. While in auto-rickshaw, all I could see was Ma :( I knew, life would be tough without her being around. It was such a moment in my life, I would not like to face that ever again. My heart was crying out loudly but I was silent. I had to be silent for Papa was around.
I reached Bangalore, had the interviews and was done with the joining formalities and all. The next shattering moment was yet to be witnessed. Papa would be leaving. Those moments are still afresh in my mind when Papa was leaving me at Ness with Mitu Apa. He was crying so badly. I would have been lost if Lala Bhai and Bapi Bhai won't have been there. Papa called me when he was leaving for Odisha the next day, I could not talk to him only!
As always, life goes on! All good and bad that happens are a part of life. Now, reaching home is like a dream sometimes considering the work, career and everything but virtually, it's just a call away. I talk to all my family members almost everyday and with each passing day, the urge of going home increases! Even now also, when I go home, life seems all good... there's fun in everything and happiness everywhere. While coming back, it feels as if, something is left behind... it's not the complete-Me that comes back! Here in Bangalore, cousins are there... many friends too... we meet time-to-time... have fun... cherish old days... have taken a house... stay on my own... but still homeless! Truly said, home is house where each wall and corner knows you, where you live with your loved ones! I surely have a house here but my home is far far away where my loved ones are!
A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams!!
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